Now before anyone throws the ‘sexist’ accusation at me let me qualify the title because it’s actually paying females a compliment (and we all know how they love one of them). You see, this ‘man’s man’ persona is doing more harm than good, it’s kind of egocentric, but it’s not your fault…
You were probably directly or indirectly taught or exposed to this way of being at some point in your development, and that’s OK…if you don’t mind lower than ideal quality of life and lower life expectancy!
So being a ‘man’s man’ can manifest in a number of ways, a cold and hard exterior, an inability to show feelings and emotion, or for some, the life of being a man’s man manifests as rugged and haggard looks, scars (physical and mental), aches, pains and reduced mobility.
…and us men wear them with pride, and rightly so!
Then you have the other end of the spectrum, the man’s man that holds himself upright, chest held high, exuding the persona that he truly has his shit together. Stiff upper lips do more harm than good guys, and this rolls into our health, wellbeing and longevity.
Remember, although life expectancy for us blokes has risen from 70 to 79yrs for those born in 2016, evidence shows that we are spending more and more time in ill health…and it’s because we simply aren’t looking after ourselves well enough.
Be More Like a Women (some of the time)
Sorry gents, but women have got it right. Yes there are extremes and variation in any gender, but generally speaking women share their burdens, they talk, they vent and they give feedback to each other.
Yes I can see that it’s stoic to take the pressures of life on your shoulders alone (women do this too of course), in turn sparing those around you of the stress… but are you really? Are you sure you aren’t just compounding the problem, becoming more and more snappy, grumpy or intolerant of otherwise trivial ‘problems’ because you are absorbing the pressures?
We make poor decisions when we are stressed, irrational behaviour becomes the norm, and this extends into nutrition and health more than we care to notice because it simply isn’t a priority!
But it should be…
You have heard of the importance of ‘reflection’, how every successful person either meditates or journals these days, it’s quite fashionable… and for good reason!
Reflection is a way to organise the things that are happening in your life, sitting back and considering each element of your life, the what’s, why’s and how’s involved in the arrival of where you currently are in life (overweight, underweight, moobs (man boobs), skinny fat or constantly tired).
Generally, whether they realise it or not, women are waaayyyy better reflectors than us men. The time spent chatting to friends, partners and even themselves (yup, catch my lady doing this all the time) is time spent reflecting.
Granted, active reflection whereby you sit down, complete a journal or our 5 Minute Reflections form is the ideal, but the social discussions with friends and family, and dare I say it, mates down the pub does a lot of good (I will qualify this below)
Change your Identity…
How you perceive yourself is what matters, it really doesn’t matter what other people think if you see yourself in a positive light. Soon enough the positive energy that comes from self-worth and a genuine liking of one’s self- identity will improve your overall output, productivity and energy.
The pub comment may seem throw away, but I think you get my meaning. The gym, coffee shop or local healthy eatery is a great place to have a chat and reflect. Change the ‘self-identity’ from a pub goer and instead see yourself as a gym goer, café frequenter or healthy eatery kind of guy, enjoy these places with a like-minded pals and see the changes manifest!
We are all different, some people prefer to talk, some don’t. Others like to be a part of a community, whilst some despise it. However you choose to reflect, whoever you wish to do this with is entirely up to you…just get it done. You WILL NOT regret it.
Remember these words gents:
“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. ”
– Steve Maraboli
Make it a good one.